Since leaving my role of full time pastoring a church family I have enjoyed seeing life from a new perspective. I enjoyed at least 16 out of my 20 years in vocational ministry 😉. A bad year or two here and there is to be expected in any job. I have enjoyed so many people and experiences along the way. Here are a few things I've learned from the experience and can see now with clarity:
1) Leading a large group of people to move in a certain direction is really, REALLY hard. And I struggled at doing this with much effectiveness. It is hard enough to lead a family well and we are stuck together by blood and deep commitment. Churches are voluntary organizations tied together by values, beliefs and mutual cooperation. And then on top of that are layers of norms, culture, preferences, and traditions. In times of enormous shifts in culture, values, ideas, and technology it is compounded with complexity. I feel sympathetic for any leaders seeking to lead voluntary organizations and businesses. It's really tough. I tried really hard with meager results in organizational leadership even though some people along the way have been encouraged and helped.
2) Moving around so much has been hard. Really hard. Hard on relationships. Hard on the kids. Hard financially. Hard on are hearts. We developed great friendships in churches and neighborhoods where we have lived but then were uprooted and loss. Keeping in touch is hard. Nearly impossible when you are trying to make friends in the new place. There is a sadness over each friend we rarely see but deeply miss. And our kids have experienced this over and over again too. I'm not sure anyone handles this type of moving well. We've tried to handle it well but I feel distant from all the people we have left and lonely. I'm not sure it's suppose to work this way. I plan to stay put. Seriously.
3) My ideas about the Bible, people, wisdom, science, and cultures keep growing and expanding. I'm afraid my views are beyond fitting neatly into any one denomination again, especially where Injave come out of (Southern Baptist Convention). I'm not sure where I am at home spiritually anymore. But I love hosing others, talking about the person and message of Jesus, and our Bible fellowship gathering at our pontoon boat dock each week. It is simple. It is genuine. It's about all I can handle right now. Enjoying loving God and our neighbors.
4) I enjoy working hard in the new career field I'm in (gas pipeline construction). It has been a humbling and challenging fresh start. I love learning and helping. And I love getting out of my truck and leaving work at work and enjoying my family.
5) Our families have been huge along the way. Without families and friends we would have gone bankrupt, crazy, and discouraged long ago. We can't thank all of them enough for believing in what we have been trying to pursue. And now that we are moving into this new adventure of life beyond vocational ministry, I know they are praying for us. They know we haven't lost our minds or our way in the God's kingdom. Their support means the most still.
-- Myles Brown
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